The Brighter Side
by memories of saturday
Summary: "Bite into the bright side Natsume, a brain tumor means I have a brain,"


Disclaimer: I don't own GA, and the characters.

I was never really sure when did I started falling for him, cause a lot of girls fell for him at first sight, sometimes I do think I'm no difference since I was half way in the middle before I knew that I was in his love boat. And I will never regret being in love with the most annoying guy I ever met in my entire existence.

When I was in the 6th grade

I was flunking my math class, no big deal, besides my grades wasn't really failing, it's just simply a little below average. What I mean is that it is just being highlighted since I have the class genius as my class partner and that we are used to be compared together, and I'm telling you, when they start to compare, my grades all together are simply no match to a subject grade of his, and the worse thing is that here I am again, stuck with him beneath the Sakura tree while waiting for Grandpa to pick me up, and dreadfully trying to convince myself why I need to take my teachers advice of why I should have a better 'educational' relationship with him.

"oh come on Natsume, its only in math class you could see or rather read statements like: I have 15 chocolate bars, I ate 10 what do I get?" but I didn't get a response so I take that as a cue and continue babbling out my insane thoughts "well I wanted to shout; 'diabetes maybe?' in front if Jinno sensei this morning, I mean, Really? Can't he be more realistic?"

"Idiot. Get some brain." He said as he turned to the next page of the manga book he was reading. The nerve of that guy, he was getting too used in calling me stupid and weird names like 'polka dots' and 'little girl' and kept on telling me how dumb I was. I always knew I need to give him a piece of my mind, no matter how odd it is and it would only be that time or never, even though I'd bet in a hundred years that he would never hear me out, I thought I would have to deal with this little chance for a change.

I was supposed to tell him, I repeat, supposed to say not that I could no matter how mad I was, 'I hate you! You suck, and get the hell out of my face!' but that would be very rude of me and since I could never be impolite as that no matter how insolent he may be, I shouted; "you know what, I quit!, wait for Ruka on your own, and I'd wait for Grandpa in front of the gate." Instead towards him with anger penetrating all over my words, but he just look at me like I am a constipated fly and said, "go on, who told you I need company anyway." And with that I was furious, hell I was mad!, how dare he! I was the only one insanely enough to volunteer and be with a total psychopath like him. And with that I stomped off towards the old building and headed my way towards the school waiting area, but what pissed me more is that when I have a slight peek to see if he regretted the words that slipped out of his lips is that I saw him smirking towards my direction.

When I was in the 9th grade

I always dreamed of becoming a great pianist, who wasn't any way? It's every child's dream, but as soon as a sloppy finger of mine pressed on a white key of the piano in Koko's house one time we have group study in there, I knew I would never be good at playing scores more over be an expert with it. very unlikely of this guy quietly seating beside me, he has a lot of guts to sit and play the piano while relaxing all the way even when we are having our dreadful afternoon detention after he subsequently pulled out a successful prank with a school staff, drawing me in trouble with him. On my defense, I wasn't trying to be mean and wholly spill the water in accord with Natsume's plan that according to Kitsune is a very 'wonderful plan' to make him, the stupid school staff, leave the topic about one of our classmates unreasonable expulsion, I actually meant to help him, since I still do feel responsible enough to feel guilty but my effort totally blew out when Natsume started pulling me away with the school staff without an explanation having Narumi as the witness, and before I can even say the word 'run', I knew I was in a huge trouble, and I'd die of hoping Grandpa would never know about this very misfortunate event.

He's good with music, sports, academics and philosophy, where doesn't he excel anyway? Even the sound he produces is twinkling though it is played leisurely and has intense atmosphere reflected into it.

"do you have a piano at home?" I asked him out loud, actually a little too loud for our fairly close distance, but even with my high pitch voice screaming beside him, he just gave me a side look that said in a very low voice "where do you think I'd practice if I didn't have a piano at home?" That blew me off again, I'll admit, sometimes I really feel so desperate just to have a simple conversation with him, not to mention it comes with an occasional effort to understand his unpredictable mood swings, cause you know I can tell you it feels a lot much more awkward when we are both too silent and end up staring or rather glaring at each other, and besides that's the only way I can at least try to understand him not that I really could.

"Just a question Natsume, how do you remember which of this keys are you supposed to play, sample, how do you know which one is a do, re or mi? And which is the one they call middle C?" I smiled at him, hoping at least he would answer, though I knew an insult would just probably come up and be shot against me, again here I am trying to be really extra nice, extra polite, and extra courteous and extra… whatever could be civil enough with his unspoken rudeness.

"I use my brain, now why don't you use yours." He said as he turned on the keys into a new familiar melody, a melody I used to hear him whistling whenever we are sitting beside the sakura tree, it was faster that the first one he was playing but it came more expressive.

"Yeah.. right." I said sarcastically and whispered "now with the brainy thing again?" I don't care if he heard it, I meant to let him hear what I said any way. just so he know, I had enough of this brainy issue with him for the past 3 year I was hanging out with him and some of his 'comrades'. Sadly, instead of being irritated, I started feeling okay with it; I learned he wasn't really that rude, it's just what we are, and what makes the two of us.

As if he remembered something very interesting, he slightly sided his head towards my direction and told me "your paps" the way he calls my gandpa "called last night" and he continued playing the same song, or should I say piece?

I was dying to keep my cool but I knew I was totally losing it, if Grandpa knew about our little scene yesterday, he'd totally ground me for the next few years of my existence, or worse, forever.

"What did he said?"

"It's a servant who picked it up and not mom. I bailed you out." He said as if he was just brushing of a side topic in a bumming conversation, doesn't he know, my glorious weekday curfews and happy girly weeknight retreats depend on what he said, if grandpa would know about this, I would never be able to hang out in Hotaru's room ever again, anyway, like I care, the thing is he didn't tell him anything, not even a single thing about water buckets, or the stupid floor wax on the floor! And I'm ecstatic about it.

"Really! Thanks Natsume!" I said in overwhelming enjoyment, at least, for a single time, being 'buddies' with him helped me out, not that I forgot he was the main reason I was in this huge campus trouble in the first place. But my sweet smile paled out when I recognized the new look he threw towards me when he said

"of course, it's not for free." And I knew I was dead. Life really is so unfair.

When we attended the culinary class his mom made us go to.

His mom had this friend who had just opened a new culinary class but unfortunately, she said she has a more important meeting to attend to so she wanted me and Natsume to go there instead, that according to her is to 'enjoy the knowledge of learning pastries and sweets together' at the maximum amount of time available, as if he'd be gone for long time. The word 'together', gave me a hint she wanted me for her son though she had been always too obvious about it, I have a theory, first is that it's because even before Natsume and I used to attend my disastrous drawing classes together every Saturday morning, she think I could be a great help in entertaining her so moody and uncooperative son and second is that she was very fond of me since she never had a little girl, and what she only has is an unresponsive spoiled brat and that she grew tired of him and wanted me instead. And lastly, I think it may have been both.

Natsume's parents were usually too busy to visit and stay at their manor with him, but I think he himself is busy with mangas that he didn't even take notice of their absence, or maybe, he is just pretending not to notice their absence, so that way he wouldn't mind staying at home with only maids going around him every single day. His parents are very supportive though, they never failed to encourage him and inspire him. They are one of what Natsume has that I had always envied him for, not his wealth, popularity and enormous brain but his parents, and his weird way of expressing his feelings. I was trying very hard to convince myself it is envy, but I have a feeling I wasn't.

"You added three cups of water." It wasn't a question, it's a statement coming from him, a statement of disbelief and I know, he was laughing at me like a maniac in the back of his mind. But I can't do anything about it since I totally screwed it up. He shook his head and continued;

"The instruction clearly says you should add 3/4 cups of water" his eyebrow twitched a little as he drew a scowl on his face. As if rereading the instruction in front of me could do something about my little problem.

"Sorry…. I honestly thought it meant 3 or 4 cups of water. I totally forgot about fractions." His scowl even became more outlined as he answered back.

"Are you insane? You really need a brain little girl." He then bent down towards the oven and opened it to test the cake bread he had prepared with a toothpick and closed it again, really, how can a guy like him know how to bake, Is he a wizard or something, Merlin he's totally abnormal, too much abnormal.

"But what do I do,? I ruined everything, and I had wasted 2 and a half of hours already. Auntie wouldn't be too happy to hear me finish nothing, it's a shame, Natsume…" I give him my pleading look and continued "what do I do?" I asked him in anxiousness; it would be an embarrassment if I wouldn't be able to take home a baked cake after a baking session. I can feel tears slowly forming in the sides of my eyes. I'm so dead. I'd die of humiliation, not that I didn't have enough of that whenever I am with him.

"I made a spare" a wide grin lit my face when he said that, even though he wouldn't tell me he did it for me, I'm glad, cause you know even it is buried beneath the ground, the fact that he made a spare which is totally unlikely of him, would somewhat be connected with me, and you'd never always have the great Natsume Hyuuga bake a cake bread for you.

What he made is a pair of two medium sized chocolate cake bread, one for him and one for me, he left mine for me to design but instead of starting right away, I spent my time watching him cut his bread in to half horizontally in equal pace and stare on how he spread a thick layer of the chocolate and vanilla icing he prepared earlier in what I believe is the first layer of his cake and sprinkled cherries on it. he's so great, not just in cooking, drawing and taking pictures, he is great at simply being himself, he never pretends, he is unique, one in the whole world. He successfully cut my thought about him when he placed the other half of the bread on top of the sprinkled crushed cherries, scoop another spoon of icing but instead of spreading it on the cake bread, he wiped it straight to my face and said;

"Falling for me now little girl? I bet Shadow guy would be really pissed about it." and he did the one thing I least expected him to do. He smiled. May be I didn't simply envied him, maybe he is right, and with that thought, I didn't disagree no more, I simply smiled back.

When he finally came back

The manor is decorated with red and black, even the curtains and the carpets were changed, though the chairs and the tables were white. I was in a hurry, I never really did received the invitation not until this morning since grandpa failed to send it to me, and I was in panic being an hour and a half late, not that anybody would take notice.

"Where were you? We've been trying to call you for ages!" Hotaru asked as she tried to move towards me. "I'm sorry, I failed to have the card earlier, where is he?" I asked her, she had been wearing a very beautiful violet dress and from the far distance I can see Ruka wearing a purple tie looking at us from a distance. "He had been gone since he formally welcomed the guests. I really don't have any idea where he went… and Mikan, don't be to cruel to him, he's still – " she paused for a while and think for the right words to use and continued "unstable- you know, he's still adjusting with everything, especially time adjusting.. Literally". A frown came to my face, but it was quickly wiped out when Yoichi, Natsume's younger cousin passed by in front of me.

"gone out for the wrong party nee-chan? I thought this is supposed to be a formal party; you do love breaking the rules don't you? Wait till nii-chan sees you." he said as tugged my green t-shirt. He tuned to leave but before he truly left he looked back at me and said "by the way nee-chan, Nice Shirt." And with that he clearly disappeared out of my sight.

I don't really know if I was supposed to be humiliated of what he said but I decided that I don't really care, so what if the others are wearing their best gowns, dresses and suits for this party, as far as I know this is just a graduation party for Natsume, Natsume as my friend, and not as Natsume as the son of Mr. and Mrs. Hyuuga who owns the Hyuuga corp and who studied college abroad without even telling his girl best friend, if there is such word or relationship like that?, that he would leave just after highschool graduation for schooling! so I expect I can practically come around the manor wearing my cargo jeans and my shirt saying: SAVE THE EARTH GO GREEN.

I tried to be in his shoe, if I were he, and I have a party going on in my house, where would I stay. I have three choices, first is the balcony in the second floor, but that would be absurd since I can see people lurking around it from the front door, second is his room, but that would be so out of the question since I know his mom would probably kick him out of his room before he could even hide himself from it. And so I hurriedly came to my last option. His study room, the place where he usually read his stupid manga books and pretend to sleep. With some occasional tripping moments over, I finally reached the study room, and there he is. Standing beside the window sill like nothing in this world is going on for him, like people aren't gathered downstairs celebrating his homecoming shit. Sad to say, it's not my presence which caught his attention but it is the opening of the door that pulled him out if his trance.

"oi, little girl. For a second I thought you wouldn't come." He said as the slow gushing of the winds hit his face, he's grown taller, and his hair is cut shorter, highlighting his still ever glowing crimson eyes, still in his face is the same evil smirk, reminding me to never take it too easy from him. He is wearing a red tie and a black suit, which really make him mature, after all he had just finished 2 major courses in college,

He took a step towards me "you're late. And not even in the right dress code, I'm betting the brain still isn't growing." And he takes few more steps towards me. As dangerously close as he was, he tried to place his hands on top of my head but I brushed him off.

"How dare you." I said, acids in my voice, and I looked straight into his ruby eyes. There was nothing but anger running in my veins as I remember how mad I was with him.

"Pardon me?", he said in disbelief, I can see insults reflecting in his eyes.

"How dare you leave without telling me? And then now all of the sudden you'd spring back in here after 6 years in Europe like nothing happened? Do you think I'm cool with you just sending me emails and birthday presents? You didn't even send me an earlier greeting about you coming home, do you know that I have to drive 200 miles just to be here tonight! How dare you!" I said crying, I was mad, and I can't do anything about it, for no matter how bad he had been towards me from the past few years, no matter how ignorant and selfish he had been, I still missed him too much. And I pity myself for that.

"Well at least I'm back, and now you are free to punch me in the face like you always wanted to do, as you said from your mails." He stated as he suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and whispered lightly in my ears, "but before that, let me show you what you missed out" and with those words, I was immobilized as he bent down and kissed me on my square on the lips, it wasn't the first time he did that, but it felt so much better than before, since maybe we hadn't been together since I was 17, and I have been dreading to kiss him again ever since. With this gesture, he made me remember that it wasn't really the kissing that is wonderful, though it was a big part of it, but it is the feeling that the two of us were oddly intimate with each other that makes it more special. I smiled him a weak smile when he pulled away as I said "let's get back on that later, but since I can't do nothing about what you had already done, let's just say; welcome back home, Mr. Summa cum Laude." and with that we came down the party holding our hands together.

When we two have separate lives.

"really, what are we?" I asked him all of the sudden while he is taking a sip on the Starbucks coffee his secretary had bought him before we went to his flat. It had been a year and a half since he came back and he still wouldn't give clarity on where do we really stand for each other, surely we hangout a lot, went to mall together, people were saying we look together and stuffs but it's nothing if he himself wouldn't acknowledge it. and I felt cheated, I think I deserve to know. He's taking me for granted.

"human." He said as he suddenly place down his coffee, stood and walk towards the window and move the curtain a little open.

I used to think we are cool, I would go to his work when I don't have mine, talk while he is busy running over his office paper, sometimes I wait for him with his secretary Anna until past 10 in his office, I used to cook food for him even though he'd tell me they are burnt, I used to do every single thing I could do to make him like me. And that's all I wanted him to tell me.

"no. what I mean, is… you know….. really….. what I'm saying is— uggh!" this conversation was really awkward, I can't really comprehend what to tell him and yet he kept on playing naïve, which is so unlikely of him, on the topic we are in. I was frustrated; I hold on the pillow and threw it straight to him.

"what was that for?" he asked calmly, but he threw the pillow playfully back to me, only it hit me straight to the face. I adjusted my seating on the chair and took a strong grip on the chair's arm rest.

"I'm trying to be serious here." I said, I was feeling a bit pissed off towards him. I hate how he can act so cool when I'm in the middle of hell trying to tell him I wanted to be his girl. Not that he wanted me to be.

"what? Have a head ache again?" he asked, concern written all over his face, I always had trouble about this simple headaches and nosebleeds that usually bugged me out. He came close and placed his hands on my head, but instead of brushing his hand off me since I knew he had always taken me for granted. I hugged his waist. And practically cried over his shirt. For a moment, we didn't move, we just stayed in that position, him standing in front of me and I seating in the chair desperately hugging him. I'm pathetic, a pathetic love sick fool, so much pathetic that the feminist people can probably sue me for being so much of a fool being hell in love with a guy like him. And I know I look much more of an idiot, a sobbing duck clinging into him, and worse, I can't even do anything about it.

"I'm tired of this. I'm so tired of liking you." I said in between of sobs. "you never Call back any of my calls, you ditched me last night for our pizza night, you reject every effort I make, and you never acknowledge my presence and I have enough of this thing…"I pointed the space between us and continued "that I don't really know, that's going on between us." And I pulled my hands ways of him, trying to give us space. I pushed him mildly and franticly tried to stood and dry my tears. I need to get away from him before I even regret what I have just said.

He took hold of my wrist and muttered "you can't be." This is the one thing in the million I have in my list that I find very intimidating about him; he can turn conversations to a new level of snogging in just a matter of seconds. He can spin my head right round with just a little effort, one moment I can be so mad at him, and moments later I was practically making out with him,. It was a very long night, and I get to spend it with him.

A lesson I learned from the last 14 years I knew him is that I can never really be mad at him for a long time, not when he wakes me up with a kiss, not when he made me strawberry pancakes with a lot of syrup on top, which he knew I like in a breezy morning, not when he called his secretary to move his appointments just for me not to mention that he doesn't care if the people involved have travelled half the world just to meet him that day, not when he decided he could ride the subway with me even though I knew how he hated the crowd, not when we walk with me around the mall with all the girls staring, I mean more like ogling at him and his eyes were all just for me, not when he sat me beside him in a musical instrument store and play a lovely piece which according to him had always reminded him of me the same melody he plays back in middle school, not when he bluntly told me he likes how i dig in my food when we are eating together in a hotdog stand for the very first time, not when I am so in love with him.

6 weeks after Hotaru and Ruka's wedding

It is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my entire life, the previous nauseous and headaches I felt were nothing compared to it, it's like my brain is pulled out of my head, stabbed by ten different forks and a set of heated knife, burned out into open flame and stepped on by a dozen of feet all at the same time. And I feel numb towards my body, all I can feel is the killing sensation going on my brain, and I was screaming with pain.

"Nat—su—me!" I screamed on the top of my lungs. Ruka and Tsubasa senpai is beside me, trying to comfort me since they had found me screaming in pain inside our condominium unit after I called Hotaru of how agonizing my headaches are.

"He's coming; he's now on a flight back home, just hold on a moment Mikan." Tsubasa senpai said as he hold into my hands and push the bed I'm lying into towards the emergency room. He looks too much troubled, and I know he is feeling more and more uncomfortable with the situation, I can't blame him, it's very rare to have your kohai rolling in the ground clutching ever stand of hair she has in head because of pain.

Lights shot open in my face, the sound of curtain rods closing around me feel my senses, but the feeling of burning pain is still in my head, and it feels like I'm drifting apart.

I heard light conversations going around me, though I didn't really pay attention to it since a strong buzzing sound is still echoing in my brain. Simple conversations pass in my mind as people set to talk around me.

"is she awake?" it was Hotaru's voice, concern is subtle in her voice, and even if she said it in the most expressionless voice she has, for me as her best friend, I can still visibly hear the concern hidden in her voice.

"I brought fruits, is she okay?" it was Koko and with the heels going around the room, even with my painful head, I can clearly guess Sumire is with him, "is Natsume home now?" she asked as I hear wrappers opening beside me. But my mind drifted off to sleep.

I was floating between dreamland and reality, the pain is lesser now, but I feel so numb, it feels like my body is not on accord with my head, and the scary feeling inside me is slowly eating me up.

A little commotion worked up in my senses,

"She's inside, they have sedated her." Was that Ruka? He's still here?

And heavy but fast footsteps echoed towards me, "Mikan." It is his voice, my name carving his concern, sadness, guilt, relief, anxiety, stress, and probably exhaustion from running expressed in the manner he uttered my name. I wanted to hug him, tell him how terrified I am, how painful it had been and how happy I was to hear his voice, how much I have dreading to touch his face since he'd been in a business trip, but my body won't move and I am as still as the figures he displayed on top of his grand piano in the manor.

I'm scared. And without him telling me, I know he is too. But I would never want to see him unhappy, not until he has me. It had been 4 days since I was admitted in the hospital, the results were out, and they are putting it on us if I'd like to stay or not. The two of us is in my hospital room in great need of humor to lessen the tension we are in.

"Bite into the bright side Natsume, a brain tumor means I have a brain, besides, I actually think this is the right time you tell me 'well done Mikan, you had proven me you have a brain.'" I said trying my very best mimicking Natsume's voice, I stared at him while I am faking my smiles and analyzing him, I was hoping he would buy it, then I continued "because right now, I'm pretty sure I have a brain. Though the doctor didn't tell us how big or small it is I'm hell sure there is brain in my head." I was half laughing when I told him that, but I dead knew he can read right through me, I am his open book anyway.

He didn't laugh nor smiled; he just moved beside me on the bed and placed his head on my lap. He was broken, and I'm breaking him apart. "I never asked the heaven to give you a brain; all I asked them is to give me the girl I love." I knew what he meant, and it's enough for me to know how much Natsume Hyuuga loves me.


End file.
